


Alexithymia

by miyarinnnn



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Homestay! Suna, Light Angst, M/M, Miya Osamu-centric, Mutual Pining, Pre-Timeskip, Sunarin is a coward, Timeskip, emotionally constipated idiots, thirdwheel Atsumu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:54:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27471556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miyarinnnn/pseuds/miyarinnnn
Summary: (n.) an inability to express one's feelings;lit. "no words for emotions"“I’m just a guest in your life, Osamu. A phase, a midsummer night dream.” In which, Suna kept fleeing, and Osamu pursued.
Relationships: Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Comments: 10
Kudos: 107
Collections: SunaOsa





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooooo, all those new Suna crumbs put me into a mood to write some angst, especially because they live 5 hours away from each other and Suna's hometown is as far as his current location. Also please don't mind the errors and my poor vocabulary as always because I impulsively wrote this one without planning out. Oh, and one last thing, there are lots of references of 5 centimetres per second, but you don't have to watch it in order to understand. But if you haven't watched it before, do check it out, the cinematography is amazing!! That's all for now, this is mostly self-indulgent but I hope you enjoy the read!!

> _“so do right people with wrong timing ever get a second try?”_

Osamu was just 15 when Suna Rintarou rained upon his life along with the ‘pitta patta’ of April showers one spring day, crashing everything down and swept him off his feet. 

“Boys, meet Suna Rintarou,” their mom beamed happily, Atsumu looked uninterested, didn’t bother to look up from his position on the couch, attention all focused on the volleyball in his hands instead. Their mom, probably too used to this kind of behavior from the elder twin, didn’t even lecture Atsumu about manners, and just looked at Osamu who was actually paying attention to her. Despite her excitement, the introduced boy standing right next to her looked almost as unconcerned as Atsumu, like it was none of his business. In fact, their mother was the only one enthusiastic about this whole exchange. 

“Suna-kun comes all the way over from Aichi so make him feel like he’s at home. But also, try not to disturb him and give him some personal space too,” she warned, stared right at Atsumu’s direction as to emphasize the point. Atsumu let out a groan of understanding, not wanting to enrage their mom. Osamu could barely pay attention to the exchange, eyes focused on this brown-haired male with weird hairdo, who was looking everywhere but at their direction. 

“Also, he got scouted by your volleyball club so he’ll be going to the same school as you boys. Bring him along when you go to school alright?” Now this newly attained information managed to steal not only Osamu but even Atsumu’s attention. They had only known that a boy their age will be having a homestay at their home, not that he was also a player, and the scouted one to be precise. Atsumu sat up abruptly, the volleyball in his hands all forgotten. 

“What position do ya play?” Atsumu didn’t even attempt to hold back his curiosity, and began to bombard the brunette with questions. 

Blinking lazily, Suna Rintarou answered. “Middle blocker.” 

“Which school did you go to?” 

“Shiritsu Tochi Junior High.” 

“Never heard of it,” Atsumu said, “but ya got scouted so ya might be plenty good.” Suna Rintarou just shrugged. 

Their mother intervened before Atsumu could continue questioning. “Well, you can ask him all the question later, but first show Suna-kun his room first so that he could set his things down and rest a little? I need to prepare for dinner now.” 

Atsumu let out a huff and plopped right back on the couch, ignoring the glare their mother sent to his direction. “Samu, ya do it.” Osamu kicked his legs, he almost considered retorting but he didn’t want this new kid to think they would rather have a brawl than take on the role of sending him to his room. 

With another brutal kick to Atsumu’s legs, Osamu sat up, looked at the new kid’s direction, silently motioning him to follow suit. He was almost taken aback when the latter stared him in the eyes for the first time. His gaze was calculating, like he was trying to get into Osamu’s head and read his inner thoughts, Osamu felt like a cornered pray from the intensity of his gaze. But more than anything, what made him freeze was the color of his eyes, it was an odd color, Osamu couldn’t figure out if it’s green or gold, or the mixture of both colors. 

He finally snapped out of his trance when Suna Rintarou’s brow quirked up a little. Feeling self-conscious, he turned on his heels and marched all the way upstairs to the guest room which their mother had prepared the other day. The latter followed suit, but was struggling in ascending the stairs with the duffel bag and the suitcase. Osamu wordlessly grabbed the duffel bag from his hand, not missing the way the brunette’s eyes light up in a way which he couldn’t really decipher, but he hoped that it was out of gratitude. 

He set the bag down on the study desk upon reaching the room, he looked back on his shoulders to see Suna Rintarou standing awkwardly at the door. Osamu kind of felt bad for this guy, it must’ve been difficult, coming all over to another prefecture and staying at a place with people he barely knew. 

“Well, don’t be shy, come on in.” He told him, hoping it might ease him up a little, “It’s yer room now.” He added. With a slight nod, Suna shuffled into the room, dragged his suitcase to place it by the bed and finally sat down on the edge of the bed. 

Osamu leaned his weight on the chair nearby, subtly observing the latter. At this point, he wasn’t even sure if he was actually nervous to be here, his face ever passive just like when he first walked into the house. This guy was probably a tough nut to crack. Osamu felt like he shouldn’t be loitering in his room anymore longer and almost tried to leave when he noticed the way Suna was fiddling with his fingers. It finally hit him; he must be the type who didn’t want people to know what was going on inside his head. 

And Osamu did the first thing that came in his mind, he immediately headed to his room, grabbed the jelly sticks he hid from Atsumu and trotted back into the guest room, not heeding the questioning look Suna had on his face. 

“Here,” he handed him the strawberry flavor one, “To make ya feel better.” He told him because Suna looked so confused, not sure what to do with the jelly stick in his hand. 

Without further words, Osamu bit his jelly stick open, nonchalantly slurping on it as he sat on the chair across the bed. Suna loosened up a bit and finally mimicked his action and ate the snack in silence. He peered at the brunette, who was staring at the ceiling like it’s the most interesting thing he had ever seen, but his fingers no longer fiddling nervously, the tension in his shoulder dissipated. Osamu found himself staring how the brunette’s lips were slightly tainted pink from the chuupet, he wasn’t even sure how much time had passed. The guest room was quiet, the only sound that can be heard was the ticking of the clock right on the nightstand but surprisingly enough, Osamu found himself comfortable with this silence. 

* * *

Suna blended right into their life so naturally, like he had been there since day one. Even now, Suna sat on the edge of the bathtub, complaining about how cramped the bathroom was. 

“Why do I have to be here?” He sighed; one hand pivoted on the bathtub for balance and the other free hand scrolling through his phone. “I’m barely doing anything.” 

“For emotional support.” They spoke at the same time, making Suna roll his eyes dramatically. 

“You guys are really identical twins, alright?” Suna said, “It’s creepy sometimes when you guys do this thing.” His hand waved listlessly in the air as if to highlight his point. 

“Ya do know that the whole point of us dyeing our hair right now was because ya said we looked too identical that ya could barely tell who’s who.” Osamu gave him a flat stare. 

“I did?” 

“I still don’t get why you guys think we look exactly the same, I don’t see it. Do you see it, ‘Samu?” 

“No, you look dumber.” 

Suna puffed out a full-on laughter at the statement. “I can see where you’re coming from.” 

“Sunarin, ya traitor.” Atsumu growls, “I thought you’re my best friend.” 

“He’s not.” Osamu interrupted him, “Who would even want to be your best friend?” 

“Shut up, ugly mug with cloudy eyes-” 

“If ya call me ugly, yer ugly too.” 

“Weren’t you guys just talking about how you guys don’t get why people think both of you are identical?” But both of them are too immersed in their bickering that they hardly paid attention to Suna’s comment. 

After a few moments of unresolved bickering, they turned to Suna and simultaneously asked, “Sunarin, which one of us look better?” 

“Don’t get me involved in your dumb squabble,” Suna finally looked up from his phone, “Wow, you guys look like aliens with the foils all over your head.” 

Atsumu rolled his eyes. “So much for being emotional support.” 

“Well, it’s your fault for believing that I would act like one.” Suna shrugged. Just like that, their previous dispute ended up forgotten. Suna stood up from the bathtub, shoving his phone into his pockets and walked to their direction. 

Picking up the empty dye boxes, he asked in an incredulous voice, “Blonde and grey, seriously? Wait, is this even allowed at school?” 

“If we get in trouble, I’m going to say it’s Sunarin’s idea-” Atsumu grinned. 

“Consider yourself gone if that ever happens.” 

“Yer meanie, Sunarin.” 

“Thanks, I try.” Suna deadpanned, but something was amiss, Osamu couldn’t exactly put a finger on it. His features looked somehow sombre. 

“Is anything wrong with the dye?” Osamu decided to ask, he felt like there was no point in pondering what was inside Suna’s head all by himself. 

That seemed to snap him out of his trance, Suna shook his head, setting the boxes down. “No, the brand is good.” He said, voice sounding a little hesitant, “I’ve seen my little sister use it once.” 

“You have a sister?” Atsumu shrieked, “How come I’ve never heard of it? Is she pretty?” 

Suna gave a stern look at the grinning male, “Maybe I expected this reaction and decided not to say anything.” 

“Oh, come on, Sunarin. Don’t be stingy. Are you really passing on the chance of getting a brother-in-law this awesome, hmm?” 

“I’d rather have anyone but you, Atsumu.” Suna blinked, “like seriously.” 

Atsumu clicked his tongue. “Yer no fun.” 

“She must be pretty young though, you let her dye her hair?” Osamu probed; in some way it was nice to hear Suna talking about his family. He rarely talked about his personal matters after all. 

“She had that weird middle school kid phase.” Suna just shrugged, “It’s hard to stop her once she sets her sights on something.” 

“Sounds exactly opposite to her slacking brother,” Atsumu scoffed. Suna didn’t even look bothered at the insult. 

“She must be pretty too,” Osamu commented out of all sudden, without thinking much into it. 

Atsumu grimaced meanwhile Suna looked amused, smirk decorating his lips. “Does that mean you think I’m pretty?” 

Osamu felt his whole face burn up. Embarrassed, he rubbed his nape, smudging the dye he had applied to the back of his head. 

“Shit,” he cussed, looking at his soiled hands with a mortified expression. Suna cackled at him. 

“Dumbass,” Suna mocked, but his voice showed no indication of ridicule. It ended up making Osamu join in his laughter a little later, mirth blooming widely in his rib cage. 

“I feel like I’m intruding something.” Atsumu mumbled as he stood up, “This is disgusting, I’m out.” 

Half of Osamu wanted to kick his retreating brother and asked him what kind of nonsense he was on about, but the other half, the louder part of him just desired to ignore him and relish in Suna’s rare yet alluring laughter. Suna looked like he was paying no mind to Atsumu’s outburst either and just stared at him with a small smile. He decided not to think too much into it and also sent a soft smile in return. 

* * *

It was the last week of summer, 6 months since Suna’s homestay, when he felt like he had started to cracked Suna’s shells and proceeded to learn about him. It all happened unexpectedly, his parents were out for the day, would probably come back late. Atsumu and Osamu had planned to hang out with the rest of the team at the summer festival. Of course, they all invited Suna too, but the latter declined the offer, claimed he wanted to sleep his fatigue away. They couldn’t find it in them to get mad at the rejection because Suna just got back from his 3-day visit to his family in Aichi, the train ride must’ve been exhausting. 

But when the evening came, Osamu came down with a mild stomach bug, it wasn’t severe per se, but there was a possibility that he would’ve worsened it by stuffing with all the food from the stalls. He pouted on his bunk bed, utterly bitter to have missed the biggest festival of the town, especially when his parents called him and ordered him to just stay in. 

“At least ya can be alone with Sunarin,” Atsumu grinned at him, like the mentioned boy wasn’t sleeping right next door. 

“Fuck off, ‘Tsumu.” 

“Bet yer rejoicing inside though.” 

“I hope you don’t get a seat to watch the fireworks.” Osamu hissed. 

Atsumu pulled a face. “At least, it’s much better than having to stay back and not getting to eat anything.” 

Irritated that the blonde male managed to hit his sore spot, Osamu threw a pillow in his direction, to which the latter effortlessly dodged and finally slipped out of the room. 

“I hope your serves aren’t this mediocre,” Atsumu yelled from the hallway and Osamu slammed his fist on the bed, imagining Atsumu’s face. 

He must’ve dozed off at one point, he jerked awake by his own stomach growling, the action which always earned him a sniggering from Suna. 

_“I swear you’re built solely on hunger instinct.”_ He had always said. Speaking of Suna, he just realized that the brunette was only a few walks away from him now, the thought oddly made him nervous. Not like he hadn’t ever been alone with the passive male, there were several instances where only two of them walked back home because Atsumu often slipped away, doing who knows what. 

Osamu ceased his thoughts, got down from his bed and decided to cook dinner for both of them. Suna must be starving as well because he had been holing up inside his room since lunchtime. He quickly whipped up some omurice for both of them, set everything down on the dining table. He didn’t waste his time to approach Suna’s room and knocked on the door twice. Unlike Atsumu, who completely ignored their mother’s warnings about personal space and always barged into Suna’s room like he owned it, Osamu had always respected his privacy and didn’t enter the room unless Suna let him in. 

“Suna?” He called in a gentle voice as he knocked on his door again. 

“Suna, I made dinner for both of us.” He tried again, but to no avail. He almost walked away from the door considering the possibility of the brunette being asleep when he heard a loud clatter noise followed by a pained groan coming from the room. 

Overwhelmed by his concern, Osamu ignored the fact that he would be now overstepping his line like his brother, and slammed the door open with a mumble of “Pardon the intrusion”. Panic filled his entire body when he saw Suna sitting down on the floor with his face down, and knees tucked to his chest, looking small in contrast to his actual height, broken glass strewn all around him. Osamu couldn’t dwell much on the reason why the younger had been ignoring him even though he was awake, as he saw spots of red near Suna’s foot. 

“Yer bleeding.” He said, as if Suna wasn’t aware of the fact himself. 

Suna let out a broken laugh, finally looking up. “Well done, Sherlock.” 

Osamu froze in his tracks, unsure of what he should reply because he had never seen this side of Suna- him being this vulnerable. The latter had been nothing but walking example of sarcasm, his facial expression comprised of nothing but sarcastic smirks and mocking grin. But now, those expressions were nowhere to be seen, even though his face stayed blank, there was no missing the solemn look he had in his eyes. 

Letting out a hefty sigh, Osamu told him. “Let’s clean you up first.” Suna made no move to retaliate so Osamu swiftly headed to the kitchen to grab the first aid kit. Suna had remained seated in the same position, didn’t flinch away when Osamu gingerly took a hold of his injured foot. 

“Thank god the cut wasn’t deep.” Osamu spoke up, hoping to relieve the lingering tension in the air, “How did it happen?” 

Silence filled the room again, Osamu sighed when he realized the latter wouldn’t be answering his question, he dropped his foot down slowly and swept the shreds clean with dustpan he had in his vicinity. He placed his attention back on Suna after the task, opening the first aid kit wordlessly. 

“Knocked the glass over in my haste to get the door and tell you to eat the dinner first.” Suna explained when Osamu made him rest his injured foot on his lap. 

“You could’ve just yelled from your bed.” He advised and Suna just shrugged. The brunette winced a little when Osamu dabbed the alcohol on his wound. 

“Sorry,” Osamu smiled sheepishly. 

“It’s fine,” Suna sighed. “That’s my line actually, sorry for the trouble. You ended up nursing me when you’re not well yourself.” 

It’s fine, you’re never a trouble. He had wanted to say but all he could manage to let out was- “You heard?” 

“It was impossible to not hear with how much you both were screaming.” 

“You’re lucky this happened on a week of no practice,” Osamu informed, “Or else coach will lecture you so much.” 

“I feel like Atsumu will call me out first, if anything.” 

“Are you saying you’re scared of him?” 

Suna scoffed. “No, I’m just saying hypothetically.” 

“All done,” Osamu announced, scooting back from his previous position to observe the patching he had done. 

“It wasn’t a bad job,” Suna praised, as if he recognized Osamu’s inner monologue, and after a little moment, he stared right into his eyes and said, “Thank you, ‘Samu.” 

Osamu was floored at the sudden eye-contact, especially with the current proximity, and he swore he could see some dried tears on his cheeks which made him wonder if the younger had been crying the whole day, and if he was, what was making him so miserable. Wait a minute, could he be missing home? And somehow, the thought made his heart clench. It wouldn’t be a surprise if he really was missing his family because Suna only had 3 days to visit them the entire summer break because even though there was no school, the club activities still remained. 

He knew he shouldn’t be prying but something about this atmosphere made him not want to drop the matters this easily. 

Hesitantly, he questioned. “Are you okay, Sunarin?” He expected the younger to flat out deny his question, or maybe waved him off but he must’ve been bottling up inside for long, it only took one question for the dam to crumble down. 

It was a dreadful feeling, really, to the point that Osamu instantly decided that he never wanted to see him cry again. It was just like all the 15-year worth of tears gushed out of his whole being, Osamu agonizingly watched the way his whole frame trembled. He was far from being a pretty crier- fat, ugly tears coursed down his cheeks but Osamu thought he had never looked as attractive as he was right now. His body wracked with an onslaught of sobs; and that sight pushed him to kneel right beside the younger and delicately wraps his arms around the shaking male. The position was awkward, he was completely stiff as he was unsure how much proximity he was allowed to have, yet he couldn’t even mind how the current posture will probably have his legs numb later on. 

“Do you miss home?” Biting his quivering bottom lips, Suna nodded. 

“It’ll be alright,” As he slowly caressed the brown mop of hair, Osamu whispered, “you’ll be alright.” 

Suna didn’t reply, but tucked himself close against Osamu, both hands clutching firmly onto the back of his shirt and he just let him. There was really nothing he could do for the sobbing male in his arms except to let him cry his hearts out and somehow be a grounding existence for him. 

“I’m sure they’re so proud of you, Rin.” He breathed in his ears, too caught up in the moment to take notice of the endearment that slipped out. 

“It’s alright, Rin.” He reassures. “You have me, I’ll be by your side and fight all the sorrows away.” He tried not to dwell on how intimate his sentiment was, or more like the whole situation. 

But Suna, like him, was apparently too exposed, raw with emotions that he let out a trembling mutter that said, “promise?” 

“I promise, Rin.” A whimper escaped the brunette lips. The sound of sobs and hiccups echoed throughout the room and Osamu just tenderly embraced him, his hold on the younger not faltering once. Indescribable feeling surge through his entire body when those always-enigmatic eyes with a shade equally mysterious, now filled with nothing but vulnerability, stared right into his eyes. Osamu stared back; eyes all gentle unlike his usual blasé gaze, he stared into those golden eyes until he was overcome with this eerie desire to lock him up in a kiss. He quickly looked away as his face turned red at his own thoughts, and instead rubs soothing circles on the brunette’s back. 

* * *

Coming to terms with the fact that he might be having a crush on Suna Rintarou wasn’t as burdensome as he expected. This newfound realization didn’t pose a threat on how he treated Suna, more like there wasn’t any difference even after the incidence, which was decided unanimously to be overlooked. Neither of them didn’t mention, calmly carried on like it never happened. But one thing did change, Osamu wouldn’t drop the name Rin and Suna didn’t seem to mind either. There was someone who minded the name though. 

“Rin? Seriously-” Atsumu sneered, “Wait, are you guys seeing each other now?” Osamu ignored him and Suna just shrugged, which ignited his fury even further. 

“I left you two alone for just one single evening and things escalated that much?” 

“You’re being ridiculous.” The comment seemed to infuriate Atsumu further and they ended up brawling in the middle of the street, and Suna made no move to intervene, and instead recorded the entire fight standing on the side. Atsumu ended up with a black eye and Osamu with some bruises on cheeks and bloodied fingers. 

* * *

Days gone by; the first year of high school was over in a flash and Suna Rintarou had managed to become an essential part of his life. He wasn’t sure what to call their relationship at this point, because friends don’t exactly hold hands, cuddle each other to sleep, and make out with each other. They didn’t really date other people but they weren’t exclusively going out either. Suna never commented on the matters, initiating contact wordlessly and Osamu let him, and the brunette never pulled away whenever Osamu reached for him. He wondered if this is skinny love, that was the only reasonable excuse he could come up for this whole “more than friends less than lovers” gig they were pulling off. Labelling can wait, Osamu figured, it really doesn’t matter as long as he could have Suna near without having to come up with excuses. 

Now, on the bus which was void of people but them, Osamu stared dazedly at the male leaning over his shoulders, his gold eyes with green tinge focused on the droplets of rain on the window of the bus. The April showers made him reminisce the day when the male right by his side came waltzing into his life. It was around this day, last year. 

“Do ya think you would still come here if you have a chance to change things?” Osamu asked curiously. Suna tugged at their entwined hands experimentally. 

“Hmmm,” he mused, before a small smile materialized on his face, “I think I would.” 

Osamu grinned, face inching dangerously close to the latter. “I knew ya have a soft spot for us.” 

“Keep dreaming,” Suna shoved his face away, but his smile widened. “Your mom’s cooking is enough reason for me to stay.” 

“Are you really forgetting the person who made you food when you woke up hungry in ungodly hours?” He proceeded to pout, earning a laughter from Suna, the kind that pulsated through his chest, a laughter as free as the bird soaring through the sky, his olive colored eyes disappearing into crescents, all toothy and unrestrained, making Osamu warm in ways a heater nor a fireplace couldn’t. 

“I will make you a deal- you can be 25% of the reason.” 

“I don’t have an example to compare,” Osamu complained. “Wait, this is more important- is it more than ‘Tsumu?” 

“Your question deeply pained me. I’m reducing your percent!” 

A breathy laugh echoed from his rib cage. “I fed you chuupet when you first came here, remember?” He tried again. 

“Reevaluating...” 

“Rin-” Suna perked up, lightly laughing, and Osamu somehow felt empty at the loss of weight from shoulders. 

Suna turned to him, sporting an expression as genuine he could get, “Frankly speaking,” his words trailed off, and Osamu squeezed his hand to prompt him. 

“Even though I get homesick and all, I wouldn’t change a thing about this.” He flickered his gaze between their laced fingers and Osamu’s face. 

“Me too,” he breathed out, “me too, Rin.” 

He pushed the need to question, _will you stay if I ask you to,_ to the very back of his head. 

* * *

“I hate the ending,” Osamu declared, falling flat on Suna’s bed. He and Suna had been watching 5 centimeters per second on Suna’s laptop. With Atsumu gone for the youth camp, he almost entirely spent his time in their guest room where Suna was currently residing. Osamu didn’t want to admit the fact that his shared room with his twin felt almost empty with him gone, and decided to pester Suna instead. Being with Suna was a big distraction, he was always enthralled by his presence whenever the brunette was next to him, only Suna could make him lose track of time and sometimes even managed to make him miss his meals, a big feat no one had ever done before, not even his first love he had in 4th grade, the pretty girl with the cutest pigtails he had ever seen. 

Suna closed his laptop shut, placing it on the nightstand next to his best and plopped down right beside Osamu. He had a thoughtful look on his face. Osamu leaned to his side to fully pay attention to the male beside him. 

“What are you thinking about, Rin?” Osamu had learned over the months that Suna needed a little push for him to fully express his thoughts. Not like he held back from giving out his opinions, he was more than frank whenever he had to criticize someone or remind people of their embarrassing pasts. He just became hesitant when he got roped up into spiral of thoughts, usually negative ones. Even though he always displayed his cocksure behavior on the court, Suna surprisingly can be self-conscious. 

“It’s nothing, just-” If he said that line, it would definitely not be nothing. Osamu waited for him to continue, “I’m just thinking about how timing is the most important thing in a relationship.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I’m sure Takaki loved Akari deeply,” Suna drawled, “to the point that it almost made him look pathetic.” 

“Maybe he didn’t care if people took him for a fool,” Osamu protested, “maybe all he ever wanted was Akari’s love.” 

“But did that attitude make him win over Akari? No, it didn’t. In the end, he just turned out being a pitiful man who pushed away all the potential persons who could’ve made him happy.” 

“He must’ve hanged on some lingering hope of meeting her again.” 

“That hope was nothing but a fleeting dream,” he huffed out, “sure, they did meet again, but Akari had a fiancé whom she would be spending the rest of her life with. In the end, that lingering hope utterly destroyed him.” Osamu wasn’t sure why he sounded so frustrated, it was just a movie, he wanted to say but he also didn’t want to offend the strangely enraged male. 

“Your point is?” 

“Right, I got too engrossed.” Suna chuckled lightly, “My point is, whoever that said “love is all that matters”, they fucking lied. Even if the other person is a right person, it’s no use if you meet them at the wrong timing.” 

Ignoring the sting Suna’s words inflicted, he joked. “Sure, Plato.” 

Suna sent a playful glare in his direction, and stretched his torso in a way no one but him could perform. Osamu stared; it was crazy how the sight could still astonish him even though he had seen it for thousands of times. 

“I really like Akari,” Suna spoke up a little later, just when Osamu had thought they were done discussing about the movie. 

“Yeah, she is pretty.” 

“No, I mean her character.” The younger let out an exasperated laugh. 

“Oh,” Osamu mumbled, “why?” 

“Because she’s realistic.” Suna remarked, “She doesn’t dwell on her first love nor let the said first love impede her in pursuing her real love.” 

“It could’ve been different if she had given him the letter where she poured her souls out.” 

“It’d be safer to think they were never meant to be.” Suna pondered, “Hypothetically, let’s just say Takaki didn’t lose his confession letter and Akari did give him a letter in return, what happens next? It’s not like they can instantly disregard the physical distance they have between them. It was incredibly naïve of Takaki to keep holding on her despite that.” 

“You’re being too tough on Takaki.” 

“Because he’s an idiot.” A solemn smile emerges on his lips, “But I don’t hate people like him.” 

“That was heartless of Akari to walk away at the last scene,” Osamu pointed out. “He was a childhood friend despite everything.” 

“To Akari, he might just be someone she knew in the past, she’s living her life and happily engaged, there’s no reason for her to check a random guy if it’s her childhood friend or not. Not to mention, in her memory, Takaki wasn’t supposed to be in Tokyo so there was no reason for her to just stop.” Suna grinned a little and joked, “This reminds me of our banner, who needs memories, really.” 

Osamu didn’t laugh, and instead exhaled. “This is sad. If I were Takaki, I wouldn’t have hesitated in sending her letters, maybe would’ve gone to her town and searched for her.” 

“It would be nice if things work out that easily,” Suna mumbled, as he extended a hand to the ceiling and stared at it. “I think I might have to disagree with you about the ending, I think it’s perfect.” 

Confused, Osamu observed the younger. “How?” 

“Just everything about the last scene was perfect,” Suna didn’t look at him, “especially how Takaki smiled even though Akari walked away from her. The whole journey was painful for him, but to be able to finish off with a genuine smile like that, it’s his victory.” Osamu stared at his expressionless face, trying to decipher if he meant anything behind it. Suna then leaned on his side to return his gaze. His calculating eyes shined brightly. 

“I would want to finish off in the same manner.” 

“Like killing people with a smile?” 

Suna grinned at his comment and sent a wink in his direction. “You got me.” 

Suna’s face looked clear, like he had genuinely been messing around with him, grin adorned his face and eyes filled with mirth, but somehow the way Suna worded his previous sentiment gave him an intense, churning feeling in the stomach. Osamu couldn’t help but think if the brunette was implying that when the time came, he too wanted to finish off whatever he had with Osamu with a smile. 

* * *

“Happy birthday, Rin.” Osamu whispered, holding the cupcake topped with a single candle to the brunette’s face. Suna looked taken aback but he smiled, before closing his eyes shut and clasped his hands together to make a wish, his long lashes fluttering prettily. Osamu and Suna had been refuging in the rooftop of their motel, it was right after their loss to Karasuno. Everyone else dived right to sleep, especially devastated to lose their first game which ended being the last game. 

“What did you wish for?” Osamu asked when the brunette blew the candle. 

Suna’s gaze fell on him. “It’s a secret.” He tried to wink but came out as a blink instead. Osamu cackled. 

“Nice try,” he wheezed. 

“Shut up,” Suna mumbled, and grabbed the cupcake from his hand. 

“Sorry I couldn’t get the last point.” Osamu looked up to the sky, “I was sure I would make it.” 

Suna hummed, “I thought you guys would totally get that point too.” 

“We lost,” Osamu sighed, “and right on your birthday.” 

“You know I don’t really mind,” Suna said, picking on the cupcake. “There’s always next year. Besides, didn’t Kita-san say so? Not to apologize for things you don’t really regret.” The silence caressed them like the chilly air of January night, comforting and smoothing the roughness of their day. 

Osamu figured it wouldn’t be bad to come clean to the younger about the thoughts about his future right at the moment. “Hey, Rin.” He tested. 

Suna nodded in his direction, urging him to go on. 

“I... I might drop volleyball after high school.” Suna whipped his head to his direction, he looked kind of shocked. But the reaction wasn’t as big as Osamu expected to receive. 

“Why are you not surprised?” 

Suna blinked at him. “I am surprised.” 

“You don’t look the part.” 

“It really is surprising.” Suna tapped his fingers, “then again it doesn’t come out as surprising if you think about it too.” 

“Speak human,” Osamu chuckled. 

“But you get my point, right?” Suna gave him a toothy grin, which may or may not twirl his stomach with affections. 

“What about you, Rin?” Osamu looked him in the eyes. “What do you plan to do?” Suna went quiet, he looked as if he was contemplating but he just shrugged. 

“I still have no idea.” 

“That sounds just like you.” Osamu remarked. “We’ll figure it out together.” Suna stared at him, eyes filled with unanalyzable emotions and he nodded wordlessly. 

Suna turned to face him back again. “Was I the first person to hear the news?” Osamu reached over to grasp his fingers habitually, and Suna squeezed back. 

“Yeah,” Osamu breathed out dumbly, too focused on staring at Suna’s face. “I wanted you to be the first one to know.” 

“Okay…” 

“That’s it? Yer cold.” 

Suna leaned onto his shoulders, eyes flickering up to the sky. 

“You’re going to be alright no matter where you are,” 

“How so?” 

“I just know it. You’ll be alright.” He looked like he wanted to continue further more so Osamu waited but the younger didn’t, and instead squeezed on his fingers tightly. His fingers were messy from the cupcake but Osamu realized he didn’t mind at all, no matter how sweaty or frosty these hands may’ve gotten, Osamu didn’t think he would ever want to stop holding onto them. 

* * *

Osamu must’ve been a lot more naïve than he thought himself to be. He had never considered the fact that Suna couldn’t always be right next to him. It was a little ironic to be honest, because Suna’s home was never here. More than naïve, it would be better to say he was deliberately forgetting the fact that Suna will eventually have to leave Hyogo. But still, no self-enlightenment could prepare him when the reality struck him right in his face. 

“I got an offer from EJP.” Suna dropped the news one day, on their way back from school. He said it in a voice he used when he informed about a short trip to the convenient store, like it wasn’t anything special. But it was a big deal for Osamu, he froze in his tracks, throat suddenly went dry, his eyes darting everywhere but Suna who also stopped walking to peer at him. 

Where was EJP based again? Will Osamu get to see him often? Will Suna think about visiting him during breaks? 

Osamu had so many things he had wanted to say at the moment, but instead he said. “Congratulations, Rin. I’m happy for you.” Suna was anything but dumb, there was no way he didn’t realize Osamu was far from being happy. It was as if he wasn’t happy for him too; out of all possible teams, Osamu was really glad that it was Suna’s favorite V-league team that offered an invite. He was really proud of him but at the same time, he wasn’t sure if he would be okay with not being able to hold Suna near anymore. 

“I’m still thinking about it,” Suna mentioned. “I’m not even sure if I want to continue playing volleyball or not.” 

“I think you do know what you want, you just don’t want to realize it yet,” Osamu looked at him, “and plus, I think you should go for it too.” 

“Osamu, I-” Suna sighed, shaking his head a little. “Yeah, you’re right. You’re right.” He chanted, almost like he was convincing himself. 

And Osamu wondered if he could’ve told him differently. 

* * *

There was no way Osamu could’ve seen this coming. Ever since the offer about EJP, Suna had relatively been distant. Not that he was avoiding him or something, but he seemed like he was deep in thoughts for most of the time, barely paying attention to Osamu. He could only get his attention after a few nudges in the side, then he would zone out again after a little while. Despite all that, he still grasped Osamu’s hands as tenderly as before, gave him smiles so saccharine that always managed to make his heart thump wildly in his ribcage. 

Currently, Osamu was lying on Suna’s bed, and the latter, unusually not staring at his phone for once, cushioning his arms to lean on his side, eyes leveling with Osamu. 

“What are you staring at?” He grinned. 

“I’m thinking about how obnoxious your grey hair is.” 

“That wasn’t what you said back then.” 

“I only said that to spite Atsumu,” Suna denied. “Also, if I remember correctly, I just said your hair looked less hideous.” 

Osamu just gave him a knowing smirk. “You don’t mean that.” Suna didn’t reply but the light chuckle he huffed out was a dead giveaway, he didn’t really think his hair looked awful. Suna looked absolutely serene like this, his pretty eyes crinkling, the always neutral line of his lips curled up. Osamu couldn’t stop the fondness bubbling in his chest. 

Without further words, he cupped Suna’s face tenderly and dived forward to kiss him square on the lips. Suna froze but slowly matched him when Osamu coaxed with a soothing hand on his nape. They didn’t do this often but this wasn’t a rare occurrence either, after all they were both hormonal high school students. There was no way they could keep their hands all to their selves when the mutual attraction was as plain as day. 

He crossed over, now half-pinning Suna on his bed, free hand removing the plaid shirt the younger had as an outerwear. With fervor, he repeatedly claimed the brunette’s lips, ran his fingers on the sharp edges of his jaw. Osamu shoved a hand under Suna’s shirt, held onto his lithe waist like a lifeline. 

Backing up a little, Osamu looked down to the view of the brunette trapped between his arms. Suna tilted his head up, his gold orbs hazy, thin lips flushed red from all the friction from before, Osamu had never wanted someone this much. 

He swooped down for a deep kiss, overwhelmed by the emotions, he tried to mutter out. “Rin, I-” Suna noticeably stiffened at his tone, and abruptly without no notice, he pushed Osamu off him. 

Confused, Osamu called. “Rin?” Suna looked shaken, and he had no idea what spurred the younger into this state. 

“I- we....” Suna struggled to say, biting hard on his lower lip. 

“Rin, what’s wrong?” 

“We shouldn’t be doing this...” 

Pain crawled into his skin, still bewildered, he questioned. “Did I make you uncomfortable? If so, I’m sorry, Rin.” 

Suna shook his head profusely. “No, it’s not because of that.” He sounded frustrated. “I’m saying, we should stop doing this kind of thing at all.” 

“Rin, I don’t get it.” He frowned. “Where is this coming from?” 

“We’re graduating in a few months,” Suna spoke slowly, “and I’ll have to leave right after that.” 

“That’s it?” Osamu hissed, “That’s your problem?” 

“That’s it? You can’t just say that.” Suna snapped back. “It isn’t something minor. Things are going to change in these few months and I-” He trailed off, burying his face in his hands. 

“Rin, you’re being ridiculous.” 

“I’m being realistic.” Suna half-yelled, not wanting someone to overhear. “This whole thing we have isn’t meant to last so instead of delaying the inevitable, isn’t it better to get it over quickly?” 

“Were you planning to break up with me right from the start?” 

“Can we really use the word break up here? We weren’t together in the first place.” 

Osamu clenched his fists. “Didja really have to put it that way?” 

“Samu, listen-” Suna reached for his hands but he whacked it away, ignoring the pained expression on the brunette. 

“Then what are we, Rin?” Osamu forced himself not to yell out, “What were we?” He hissed lowly. 

Suna smiled sorrowfully. “I’m just a guest in your life, Osamu. A phase, a midsummer night dream.” 

“Stop throwing difficult words in my face.” 

“You know it’s true,” Suna retaliated. “I really don’t belong here. There is no place for me in your life, not in the past, not now and it’ll be the same in the future as well.” 

Rage filled Osamu and he glared at the brunette. “That’s just what you one-sidedly came up by yourself. You don’t get to decide if I have a place for you or not.” 

“Because you couldn’t do it for your goddamn self.” Suna looked frustrated. “You’ve been so wrapped up with me that you’re starting to think we could do this even after graduation.” 

“You don’t know that. We haven’t even tried-” 

“No, it won’t.” 

“The only difference is that we won’t get to meet each other much-” 

“It isn’t that easy, Osamu.” Suna sighed. “I’ll be moving to Shizuoka, and during breaks, I’ll be at my parents’ home, which is still 2 hours away from here. We have no reason to meet-” 

“Do we need to make up a reason just to meet?” 

“Let’s see this way,” Suna bargained, “even if we sometimes meet, what then? There is no way this could work-” 

“What’re you so afraid of, Rin?” He asked, too exasperated that it came out as a whimper. 

Suna had his both knees tucked to his chest, clutching on his sweatpants tight. He looked so broken, just like a certain night years ago where he had been homesick. Osamu would’ve pulled him into an embrace if he wasn’t too wounded by the said male. 

“Because you’re so important to me, Osamu.” He stared right at him with an expression so wretched that it tormented him greatly. “And that’s why I don’t want to lose you. But if we continue this whole farce, the distance will destroy us and I’ll end up losing you at one point. I don’t want that, Samu-” His voice cracked at the very end. 

“So, you just decided to back out?” 

“This is the best for both you and me, Samu.” 

“Then what do you want me to be, Rin?” Osamu clenched his teeth. “What role do you want me to play now?” 

Suna’s golden eyes caught his ash brown ones, Osamu ignored the way how his gaze still managed to stir him up. 

Carefully, Suna told him. “Let’s just be friends, Osamu.” Bullshit, friends don’t look at each other like this, he almost said. 

“And watch you go out with other people?” Osamu jeered, “You’re really ruthless, Rin.” 

“Maybe at that time, you’ll have someone by your side and you won’t be even thinking of me.” 

“I guess you’re really not changing your mind?” 

“No, I don’t think so.” The jaded look he had on his face made him even more good-looking. Osamu hated himself for thinking that way. “I’m sorry, Osamu.” 

Surrendering quietly, Osamu walked away from him; he had no reason to continue being in this room after all. 

Without looking back, he told Suna. “Yer real selfish. But don’t worry, I will be whatever ya ask me to be, Suna. I’ll even bleed myself dry if you were to ask me. I just hope that ya came out victorious like you wanted to at the end of the day.” 

The click that came out as he shut the door of Suna’s guest room door made him ponder if the sound was the representation of him drawing the curtains over his relationship with Suna. With trembling hands, he stayed rooted at that position, right at the door. He didn’t realize he had been crying until stray tears fell on his extended hands. 

Osamu clenched his fists when he heard soft whimpers coming from the room. Half of him, the petty side, was satisfied that he wasn’t the only one suffering, but the other half, the louder one, quivered in pain. 

When the soft whimpers turned into hiccups, Osamu almost considered to barge right back into the room, grab the younger by the shoulders, shake him until he came to his senses and to ask him how any of this looked like the best thing for both of them. But he didn’t, instead he just stood there in the hallway for who knows how long, listening to the muffled sobs that echoed out of the room, bitterly thinking how Suna couldn’t finish things off with a smile like he had wanted to. 

* * *

The next, next days, Osamu did the only thing he could think of- avoidance. He avoided Suna like a plague, he made a run at the sight of him, woke up exceptionally early just to escape from walking to school with him, dashed right out of the classroom once the school bells rang not stopping to think for a moment how Suna was literally next seat. Suna attempted to reach for him the first few days, but he seemed to give up later on, giving the space just like Osamu wanted – or more like Osamu had thought he wanted. They only spoke when it was necessary, which was not much because in club activities, Osamu was always together with Atsumu and the brunette with Ginjima. 

He was a hypocrite; he was the one who started this whole avoidance and yet he got pissed when Suna did exactly what he asked for. He wasn’t even sure about himself and what he fucking wanted at this point. 

The teammates and maybe even his parents might catch on the whole fiasco but none of them ever mentioned, which Osamu was totally grateful for. He didn’t exactly want to talk about it. 

But there was a person who apparently didn’t get the memo; Osamu was drinking water when his twin approached him during practice. 

“What happened?” The way he questioned was so vague but Osamu didn’t have to think twice what he was talking about, because the blonde male was staring straight at Suna, who was right across from them, showing some greenhorns the basics of blocking. 

“Nothing,” Osamu hissed, crushing the water bottle in the process. “Me and Suna are good.” 

Atsumu just cocks a brow, “You called him Suna.” He said as a matter of fact. 

“It’s his name...” Osamu played dumb. 

“Whatever,” Atsumu let out an exasperatedly, before sending him a flat stare, the one he called the captain gaze. “It has been dragging on for long, fix it.” 

“What made you think it’s my fucking fault?” Osamu glared at him, fist clenching tight, trying his best not to ram it right on Atsumu’s jaw. 

“I’m not blaming you,” Atsumu frowned. “I’m just trying to get you two to talk it out. Things won’t automatically be okay just by avoiding each other.” 

Osamu just shrugged, knowing the gesture would irritate Atsumu, especially when he was being serious for once. But Atsumu didn’t look fazed. “Look, Rintarou looked like he hadn’t been sleeping at all and it’s starting to affect him in practice. We need our middle blocker in a peak condition, alright?” 

The statement made Osamu tense, and he looked over at the brunette’s direction. He had been busy fleeing from the younger that he never properly focused on his face. Suna really looked terrible, terrible might be a little too generous, awful would be more appropriate. Osamu’s heart broke for the younger, like Suna hadn’t been the one to step right on his heart and crushed with his heels in the first place. 

He let out a tired sigh, a gesture he had been doing for these past few days, looked over at Atsumu, and finally decided to yield. “Alright,” He told him. 

“Now, scram and go do your duty as the captain.” He shoved him away, wanting solitude to sort out his thoughts. Atsumu protested something about being ungrateful, but he walked away. 

Deep in his heart, he knew Suna was right. There might be a big chance that they might end up having a messy breakup if they were to be in an actual relationship instead of this casual thing they had right now. He didn’t want to lose Rin either, he was one of the most important persons in his life, and the fact still hadn’t changed even if the latter broke his heart. But what he couldn’t understand was - why they had to stop these intimate moments and go back to being friends, won’t it be the right choice to spend the remaining time holding each other close? He really had no idea what was in Suna’s head sometimes. 

He snapped out of his thoughts, dropped the crushed water bottle on the floor when Atsumu yelled about starting the practice once again. And when he stood on the court, his eyes caught Suna’s gold one, across the net, for the first time in days. The melancholic look Suna had in his eyes and the intensity of his gaze still managed to make Osamu weak at the knees. He stared back with the same vigor, it’s crazy that it only took just one look from the younger and Osamu was already at his mercy. 

And when Osamu crawled into Suna’s bed that night, wordlessly lying beside him but not touching him like the younger had suggested, Suna let him do exactly that, even managed to fall asleep for the first time in days to Osamu’s warm presence. Just like that, Osamu fell back to Suna’s orbit easily again. If playing friends was what he asked for, Osamu would gladly give it to him, even if his heart was at stake. 

* * *

Osamu watched Suna uncharacteristically smiling from ear to ear as he took several photos with the twins’ parents, holding them close by the shoulders from the middle, looking like the actual son more. Whereas, his and Atsumu’s photo session with their parents went terribly wrong and they ended up nudging each other in the ribs in the picture. 

Even after several photos, Suna looked grateful, bowing for several times. Suna’s parents had to do a last-minute cancellation to his graduation as his younger sister had to be hospitalized right before they headed out. The twins’ parents instantly volunteered to attend as Suna’s guardian too, and he didn’t miss the way the brunette’s eyes lightened up at the suggestion. He was sure the younger had a fair share of attachment to their parents, he had been spending his time under their roof for almost 3 years now, Suna was like a new addition to the Miya family, a brother, their parents dubbed, but at this point, Osamu was madly in love with the brunette that he would rather Suna be his plus one in the Miya household, a little ironic to consider marrying the male when he was leaving in a few days. 

“Boys, come here.” Mama Miya beamed happily, just like the first time Suna walked into the house. “Let’s all take a photo together.” Suna looked over at his direction as the twins’ mom beckoned them. Osamu didn’t avoid Suna as bluntly as before, but he wasn’t exactly talking to him too. A little funny to say that when he had made a habit of crawling into Suna’s bed just to have him fall asleep easily, which the younger had shyly admitted before their fight, that he slept better in the presence of Osamu. But he was too tired of legitimatizing the whole situation that he had stopped thinking about it – conscious, be damned. 

Bouncing back from his mini melt down which was starting to become a norm in Osamu’s life, he walked up to them, taking his place behind his mother. Suna scooted all the way over to their dad’s side, leaving the middle space for Atsumu, but when the blonde male ran over to join them, he shouldered Suna towards Osamu, almost knocking the brunette down in the process that Osamu had to hold onto him for balance. Atsumu grinned at both of them from Suna’s previous position behind their dad. Suna slowly moved to stand upright again, now in the middle of the twins, with the rest of Miya family slouched a little in front of him. 

“Suna, ya look too tense.” Ginjima laughed. “Try to look natural, I don’t know, maybe, pose just like the previous photos.” 

Osamu watched Suna shuffle nervously from the corner of his eyes. Reluctantly, Suna looked at him, almost asking him permission and Osamu just slotted closer to him, his way of answering the younger. And Suna finally pulled both him and Atsumu from the shoulders, tension leaving his shoulders, small smile adorning his face. Ginjima gave him a thumbs up. Atsumu, like the feral animal he was, stuck his tongue out to pose. Osamu let himself relaxed too; in the first place he shouldn’t be too uptight on the graduation day. As he studied Suna’s serene face, he finally allowed a soft smile to emerge. 

“Now, that’s perfect!” Ginjima exclaimed as he finally pressed the shutter. He ran over to show them the final product enthusiastically, Atsumu and their parents scooted around the white-haired male to observe. 

Mama Miya: “Atsumu, you shouldn’t be pulling a face like this in a graduation pic.” 

Atsumu: “Why not? I looked hot. Ouch-Ma!” 

Papa Miya: “Rintarou looked so handsome, ya should smile more, son.” 

Mama Miya: “My boy Osamu looked like a baby with those baby cheeks and soft smile.” 

Osamu just lightly laughed at the whole commotion, just like Suna who was watching with a small smile, his ears flushed red from the compliment Mr. Miya gave. Then, he turned to him, and Osamu instantly felt like there was no one but them at the moment, ash brown staring into gold, both pairs filled with a certain look that only both of them can decipher. Osamu looked away first, finally conscious that they were in public. 

Much to his disappointment, Suna didn’t look at his way for the rest of the graduation, it was only when the time for them to go home came, Suna tapped lightly on his shoulders, like how he always did to get Osamu’s attention. 

“Do you want to walk back with me?” He asked in a tone as if the fallout never happened, but again who was Osamu to deny Suna Rintarou and everything he had to offer? He would gladly run off from a cliff if that was what Suna desired. 

“Lead the way,” he suggested. Atsumu gave them a concerned glance but didn’t say anything. They set out of Inarizaki high school, probably the last time to do so, and walked side by side, close enough for their shoulders to brush occasionally but not as much compared to the laced fingers they had back in school days. Osamu observed Suna for more information, the brunette was looking straight ahead, but he knew the middle blocker enough that he really didn’t have a specific destination in mind, but again, it was their thing to do, walking around in this small neighborhood of Amagasaki until their curfew, just two people enjoying each other’s presence. Did Suna want to relive their past 3 years of memories as the last time? The thought felt just like a stab to his heart. 

Following Suna’s line of vision, Osamu ended up staring at the bench where they used to occupy occasionally, doing nothing but laze around silently, sometimes eating the crappy convenient store food that their broke high school selves could afford. Suna really had it easy, at the end of the day he was walking away, Osamu was the one who had to get left behind with all the memories they made in this small neighborhood. 

Bitter, he spoke out his thoughts. “Good for you, that yer starting the new chapter of your life in a new city.” He kicked a pebble in his way, “Ya don’t have to get haunted every time ya come across something familiar.” 

Suna had a broken smile on his face, but he just shook his head. “You’ll get over me soon, ‘Samu.” He said, with a tone so certain, and Osamu wanted to shake his whole being and ask if he really meant it. He may not be the brightest of the bunch, but it was telltale that the younger was equally suffering, but how he kept pushing Osamu to move on was beyond his understanding. He wasn’t wrong when he remarked him as the tough nut to crack since their first encounter, even after all these years, Osamu had no idea what went through Suna’s head sometimes. 

“Shut up,” Osamu growls, “did you invite me to preach about letting go and moving on? If so, I’m leaving.” He almost turned on his heels. 

“Sorry, sorry...” Suna grabbed on his hand, he rushed out his words, “I-I’m- that’s not my intention, I’m sorry. Please don’t go...” His voice sounded so small and he let go of his grasp. It was a brief contact but still managed to set Osamu on fire. 

“What do you want from me, Rin?” Suna’s face softened at the nickname, Osamu had stopped calling it for days after all. 

Wordlessly, Suna headed to the bench, plopped right on it, his long limbs sprawling gracelessly. Osamu followed suit. 

“Don’t hog all the space,” he kicked his leg, earning a light chuckle from Suna as he scooted over. Osamu settled beside Suna, lingered close to him that their knees were touching. 

“The cherry blossoms are already blooming.” Suna observed. It painfully reminded him of the anime they watched together before, are they really going to end up like Takaki and Akari? Are they really not meant to be, after all? 

Suna seemed to notice the negative thoughts he was having, he tried to lighten up the mood. “I want to know if it really takes 5 seconds for the petals to fall.” He said thoughtfully. 

“Well, you hafta test it out.” 

“One...Two...Three...” Just at the moment, the cool breeze of spring evening decided to make his cue. The petal fell right onto the ground. 

“It only took three seconds.” Suna blinked before mustering a toothy grin, “the anime was a scam, even the title was scientifically proven wrong.” 

Osamu couldn’t help but laugh. “What part of this was scientific? ‘Sides, the wind messed up the speed, it would’ve taken 5 seconds if it wasn’t for it.” 

“Nope, I believe in my experiment.” 

“You’re such a dork.” Osamu told him with a grin. 

Suna grins back. “Takes one to know one.” A comfortable silence filled the atmosphere, how long had it been since he felt this comfortable with Suna? They’ve been too preoccupied with emotions that this comforting silence which used to be normal became something so infrequent. 

“Maybe you’re right,” Osamu clasped his hands together nervously, “maybe we’re really better off friends. It has been a long time since we’ve been comfortable with each other.” 

Suna observed him, the corners of his lips turned up in a solemn way, and said nothing in return. The younger had said all his pieces that day after all. 

“You’re important to me too, Rin. I don’t want to lose you either.” Osamu looked up to stare him in the eyes. “But this l-” love, he almost said but he remembered Suna panicking at the word. 

“All these feelings I have inside-” Osamu clutched his shirt, “I can’t fucking suppress them whenever I see you. How am I supposed to have you near me without wanting to put my hands all over you? It has been long since I’ve felt that way, so tell me, how do I be your friend?” 

“If it’s intimacy you want, ‘Samu-” 

“You know that’s not it,” 

“You don’t really know that, because all these times, you’ve only been with me. You don’t know if it’s infatuation or-” Suna trailed off. 

Why wouldn’t you say it? What are you so afraid of? Do you love me too? There were many things Osamu wanted to ask, but at this point, none of them mattered anymore. Even if he got to know the answers, the fact that Suna was leaving in a few days won’t change. 

Instead, he asked. “What could we’ve done to avoid this unnecessary pain we’re inflicting upon each other?” 

“Perhaps stay as friends from the beginning.” 

That made Osamu chuckle a little. “Do ya think it’s possible?” 

“I don’t think so,” Suna smiled. 

A heavy sighed left Osamu as he lay his attention on the cherry blossoms tree. 

“Rin,” He chanted, like this was going to be the last time calling it, “If we had met under different circumstances, will you run away too?” 

“If we were to meet at a different timing, I think we would be okay.” 

“That somehow hurts,” Osamu remarked, but wore a small smile, “in next life maybe?” 

“How do you even know we’ll still be humans?” 

“You’re right, you could end up being a cherry blossom petal.” Osamu teased when the petals flickered down right to their feet as the wind blew. 

“Then you’ll be the grass on the ground.” Suna retorted, kicking the grass in front of him. 

“Not a bad idea,” Osamu smiled, watching the cherry blossom petal slowly land on the patch of grass, “That way, when you fall, I’ll be there to catch you.” Suna didn’t flinch away at the sentiment, a mirrored smile emerged on his face. 

“I’d like that…” Osamu turned to the younger’s direction again, taking in his features, the sharp edge of his jaw, the curl of his lips, and the pretty way the eyeliner framed his gold eyes, he took them all in. Suna watched him in the same manner. 

“Samu,” Suna called after some time, “I’m sorry if I end up giving you nothing but grief. But despite everything, getting to know you was the best thing in my life-” 

Osamu intervened. “There was nothing to apologize for, Rin.” 

“I know, you’ve never hold someone responsible for anything. That’s the kind of man you are.” Only to you, Osamu wanted to say but there was no point in telling him now, not when they were already saying their farewells. Osamu wasn’t sure what spurred them on but they were already leaning their forehead on each other’s by the time Osamu noticed. 

“Thank you for everything, ‘Samu.” Suna pulled back, just to gently press a kiss on his forehead. The gesture was too intimate, yet too final that Osamu could feel his throat tightening up, his vision starting to waver. Suna must’ve felt the same way too, because after he pulled away, he stood up to walk away, without saying anything more. With a blurry vision, Osamu watched him go. 

“Hey, Rin. If this is just an infatuation, why does my chest feel like it’s splitting into two?” He quietly asked, and Suna was already too far away from him to deem an answer. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who haven't watched 5 centimetres per second before, here's a summary, for better comprehension of the next chapter-
> 
> Takaki and Akari were two childhood friends, Akari transferred to his elementary school and they immediately hit it off. After elementary school Akari had to move away, but they still kept in contact via letters. However, they began to drift apart and in addition to that, Takaki had to move to another prefecture which would separate them even further. So, they decided to meet up before Takaki moved away, Takaki wrote a confession letter but he ended up losing it on his way to Akari. They met up, shared a kiss and spent a night together at the station and they separated again, this time both of them knew it was for good. Akari decided not to give her confession letter as well. 
> 
> Years passed by; despite a girl trying to worm in his life, Takaki was ignorant of her feelings. The girl soon realized he was always so busy trying to write to someone else so she gave up on him, knowing that he would never be hers. But Takaki never ended up sending out his letters as well.
> 
> And so time went by again, Takaki was now a working adult back in Tokyo. Akari was happily engaged to someone else. Yet, Takaki still longed for Akari, ended up ignoring his current girlfriend and broke up. Both Akari and Takaki went through old letters and remembered about the promise they made at the train crossing, to meet up again and look at the cherry blossoms together. 
> 
> One day, they came across each other at the same train crossing, both of them recognized each other. On opposite side of the tracks they stopped to look back again, but the passing trains obstruct their views. And when the trains finally went through, Akari was no longer there and the movie ended up with Takaki smiling to himself and finally let himself walk away. 
> 
> The title of the movie, 5 centimetres per second comes from the speed at which the cherry blossoms travel, and also a representation of people and the relationships, how they might be together at the very first but somehow drift away to their own paths. I think it's a beautiful analog.
> 
> But my take is that, Suna kept comparing themselves with the pair, Suna was scared to hurt, he didn't want to start something which was bound to end (in his opinion), so basically he was a coward. 
> 
> Anyway, that was the story. I'm a sucker for Ossn fics with distances between them so I couldn't help but write it out even though most of the scenes here were pretty similar to my previous fics. I hope this turns out alright xoxo


	2. Chapter 2

It took him a while to pick himself up after Suna’s departure, but the life without Suna Rintarou wasn’t as difficult as he thought out to be. Not that he had completely forgotten about him, Osamu wouldn’t want to use the term “move on” in this place, because he didn’t think he would ever completely move on from Suna. He still had thoughts about him from time to time, for instance, he remembered the boy when he saw chuupets, but for most parts, the feeling was manageable and he was sure he wasn’t doing anyone harm by missing Suna Rintarou occasionally. 

Life went on for him; he got into a culinary school with good reputation and he was occupied with it most of the time, and even if he wasn’t, he would be testing out some fusion dishes or new creations for his future plan of owning an eatery. Of course, people came along too and there were one or two who interested him, but it never went further than several dates, and Osamu was too busy building a career that he barely minded about being ghosted. 

Osamu saw Suna’s face from time to time, never in person because the younger was barely surviving in Shizuoka, juggling between his small odd jobs and EJP Raijin’s hectic schedule, which he happened to hear from Atsumu as they often came across each other in matches and got to catch up more than he did with Rin (and Osamu wasn’t totally bitter.) Osamu followed him on Instagram, from there, he got a glimpse of his new lifestyle. Time healed most wounds, it didn’t crush him as much when he saw him kissing some random dude from V-league in Komori’s drunk Instagram update. If anything, it would be safe to refer them as friends by now, because they had been successful in interacting platonically so far. Osamu would send him a short yet genuine birthday wishes to him, comment on his post if Suna posted a snap of his delicious looking dinner, wish him well when Suna posted about him being sick. Suna, too, would send him random pictures of the cat just because it reminded him of Osamu, flood him with crying emojis when he posted a picture of his parents. 

He’s grateful for this development, even if he couldn’t have Suna for himself, he really didn’t want him gone from his life. But that didn’t mean, he didn’t find himself waking up from dreams that consisted of holding Suna close again. There were a lot of things Osamu wasn’t sure of, but if anything, one thing he can certainly say was that Suna Rintarou will always occupy a spot in his heart. 

* * *

He was 23 when Suna Rintarou barged back into his programmed, robotic life. He came knocking on their family home, and coincidentally, Osamu was back at his parent’s house to rest because his mother was nagging him for overworking, and as always, she was right, Osamu had been doing nothing but work the past years. 

He almost had a déjà vu from the way Suna was standing in their living room, identical to the way he did when he first walked into Osamu’s life. Ironically, it was spring too, that he was honestly thinking about starting a conspiracy theory for the relationship between Suna and cherry blossom petal at this point. Suna’s hair was trimmed short, gained a few centimeters, and looked a lot buffier compared to his high school days, especially in the shoulders, not surprising considering his occupation. When Osamu walked up to give him a (platonic) hug, he was glad to find that the gap in their height difference hadn’t widened, and Suna still looked lithe compared to Osamu’s beefy torso. There were still so many things about him that stayed the same, the way his eyes lightened at the sight of Osamu, the way he smiled with his eyes when he was genuinely happy, the cute nose scrunch he did whenever Osamu teased him, they all hadn’t changed. Also, he still smelled pain-achingly familiar- like a whisk of cinnamon and vanilla combined, from the body gel which he apparently had been using since junior high. And lastly, the fact that he was a guest in Osamu’s life hadn’t seemed to change either. 

“I had a match in Kobe so there was no way I couldn’t drop by here.” Osamu watched how Suna talked with his parents so much more easily now, the publicity did Suna justice, he was terrible at conversations before, especially with the adults. He did not say more than 2 lines when he had his homestay here. Osamu’s parents also seemed to be delighted at the change. 

“Why don’t you stay over the night, Rintarou?” His mother suggested, eyeing Osamu. He shifted nervously under her stare. “I’m sure Osamu would love your company, right, ‘Samu?” 

Suna was quick to intervene “It’s fine, Ma. I’m visiting my other friends after this so I’ll just stay at the hotel.” Right, he had been calling his parents “Ma and Pa” for years because they kept insisting. 

“Nonsense,” Mama Miya told him, “Osamu is free anyway, he can drive you around.” Suna looked at his face, still unsure. 

“I don’t want to trouble you, I might come back late so-” 

“Why should your stay trouble us? You’re never a stranger here, Rintarou.” Mama Miya gently grasped his hands, “You rarely come back so at least stay over while you’re here.” That seemed to convince Suna, but he still looked skeptical. 

“I don’t mind being yer chauffeur, Rin. I’ve been restless because I have nothing to do during my break from work.” He interrupted, in case Suna needed a final push. His mother sent him an endeared glare, calling him “workaholic”. Suna let out a laugh at the interaction. 

“I have no reason to decline then.” Suna smiled brightly, Osamu would say the younger’s unfiltered, pure smiles were the best development during these years. “Pardon for my intrusion.” 

“You’re definitely not intruding us,” Mama Miya smiled, “I’ve missed having you around.” 

“I always think about my days here too.” 

“Right?” Osamu’s mother exclaimed. “It used to be so fun! The house is all empty now that all of you young men have grown up and now staying in different parts of Japan. Not to mention, the only son remaining here—” She glared at Osamu, eliciting a guilty chuckle from him. 

“-moved out, and wouldn’t stop working to the point that we rarely see his face.” 

“I’m here now,” Osamu laughed. 

His mother’s glared intensified. “Only because I forced you to.” Suna sent him a concerned look but didn’t mention anything. More like he didn’t have a chance to, because his folks kept interrogating Suna with questions for long. 

“Make yourself home as always, Rintarou.” Osamu’s father lastly said, patting on his shoulders affectionately as he retreated to continue watering the plants. 

“Also, tell me if you feel like eating something. Don’t be shy, alright?” Suna nodded happily. As soon as his folks left, Osamu’s hands reached for the gift bag Suna had brought for the house from Nagoya, Suna cackled at the action. 

“Put on an act, at least.” Suna wheezed, “Must you always go straight for it?” 

“It’s yer fault for mentioning snacks." Osamu shrugged, excitedly rummaging the bag. “This is actually a personal record for me; to hold back until my parents leave.” 

“So, do I say my congratulations now?” 

“Go ahead.” Osamu rolled his eyes, pulling out a snack which caught his eyes. 

“I brought it for your parents, not for you.” Suna teased. 

“You know damn well that it doesn’t work like that,” Osamu didn’t hesitate in opening a pack of Kishimen Pie, “not in this household.” 

Suna grinned. “Good thing I bought a lot, you damn thief.” 

“Lie through yer teeth all ya want, but I know you especially bought it for me.” 

“Keep dreaming,” Suna kicked his legs, but he was smiling wide. He watched Osamu try the snacks one by one with propped hands, but didn’t say anything. Osamu stared right back at him, when they shared a knowing look, Osamu figured that they didn’t need to say something to feel right. He was just really glad that this comfortable silence between them hadn’t changed either.

* * *

If this whole friendship thing was for the better or for worse, Osamu will never know, but one thing he can for sure was both of them were clearly affected no matter how much of a front they’ve been putting on. Osamu had thought all along that he was the only one who couldn’t let go, and had bitterly accepted that Suna was all moved on and happier without him too. But he found out that wasn’t the case when the brunette seemingly drunk dialed him a few months after he had visited Amagasaki. Osamu was busy checking out monthly finance that he almost missed the call. 

“Hi, ‘Samu...” Suna drawled, when he picked up the phone. The fact that he was drunk was as almost as plain as the nose on his face. 

“Are you drunk, Rin?” 

Suna let out a long whine. “No.” He insisted. “I’m all good, I'm having fun.” 

Osamu let out a small snort at the statement. So, Suna Rintarou acted like a little brat when intoxicated, a new information for him to learn. Smiling a little, he told him. “Good for you, Rin.” 

“Samu....” He mumbled again. 

Suna totally went silent after that, Osamu had almost thought he fell asleep but he didn’t, the tap of fingers he heard seemed to say so. 

“What’s up, Rin?” Osamu sighed, when Suna refused to speak further. 

He heard some hushed crashing noises, for the love of god, Osamu really hoped Suna was alright. “Up? I see my ceiling, and it’s.... moving around.” 

“Rin, ya hafta drink some water and go to sleep now. You’re very very drunk.” 

He can hear Suna pouting from the other line. “You’re wrong.” 

“No, I’m not. You’re totally plastered.” Osamu frowned. “Why did you drink so much in the first place? Did you go out with someone?” The last part came out bitter on his tongue. 

“No, no...” Suna blurted out, “I’m alone at home.” 

“Oh, you’re drinking alone?” 

“Yes,” he heard a flop from Suna’s side, “how about you, ‘Samu? What’re you doing right now? Did I interrupt you?” 

He looked to the sheets all spread around him. “No, I was just lazing around.” 

“Or rather, I hope I didn’t interrupt you with someone.” Osamu’s stiffened at the implication, not sure of Suna’s intention behind that. Was he trying to gauge something out of him? 

Osamu decided to play dumb. “What d’ya mean by that, Rin?” He was pretty sure Suna would dodge his question, but Suna was probably more drunk than he thought. 

“Are you living like Akari now?” 

Suddenly feeling so, so exhausted, Osamu let out a sigh. “What’s it to you, Rin?” 

“I-I... I don’t know.” Suna, too, sighed. “I want to say it’s nothing, I’m just asking for the sake of conversation but who am I kidding?” 

“Then, tell me.” Osamu felt his heart thumping wildly in his ribcage, “Tell me what you really feel.” 

“No, I can’t....” Suna whimpered. “Not after what we’ve been, I don’t have the right to.” 

“You’ll always have the right, Rin.” What was he even doing? Telling it to the guy who was dead-drunk and won’t remember this conversation the next day. “But you’re the one who kept on deciding things one-sidedly.” 

“Miya Osamu, you’re too good to be true.” 

That made Osamu chuckle lightly. “You think so?” 

“Very much,” Suna breathed out, “I don’t even know how you’re doing it.” 

“There are still things you don’t know about me too, Rin.” You had no idea how crazy I missed you, how this capable Miya Osamu pathetically still had a thing for the same person since 2012. 

“Yet, I miss you.” It was just like Suna was able to see right through his thoughts, saying the same thing that was in Osamu’s head. “I miss you so bad.” His voice cracked at the end. 

Osamu wasn’t sure what he should say in return so he remained quiet, letting Suna do the talking. “It’s maddening, I shouldn’t be thinking about you this much, and yet, I think about you when I see those shitty onigiri from the convenient store, I think about you when I see chuupet-” 

“Oh, have I ever mentioned that chuupet became my favorite food because you gave it to me that day? I was a sweet tooth but never had a preference but you instantly changed that.” Suna rambled on and Osamu let him, his heart in a dilemma, not sure if it was happiness or pain that was running wild in his chest. 

“I think about you when I see your brother’s mug, I think about you when it rains, I think about you when it’s April-wait, in fact, I think about you every day that I feel like I’m not capable of thinking about other stuffs.” 

“Rin....” Osamu sighed. “You’re really giving out mixed signals here. What do you want me to do, really?” 

Suna let out a broken laugh. “Funny I keep asking myself that almost every damn second. I’m such a mess.” 

“Like I said once, yer really cruel, Rin. Yer gonna forget this the next morning, and only I’ll left hanging with all these memories.” And yet, I still love you. I’m a mess myself. 

“Sorry,” Suna said, chanting the words for several times, “I can’t even figure myself out now.” 

Osamu let out a big, hearty sigh. “Here’s my suggestion, you should go to sleep now, and we can have this conversation when both of us clearly know what we’re doing. Sounds good?” 

“Sounds fair,” Suna hummed, “I’m sorry, ‘Samu.” 

“You should stop apologizing,” Osamu told him. “Or at least you should keep it to yourself until you could do it in person, that would be really nice.” 

“Yeah, you’re right.” Osamu could hear Suna smiling just from his tone. “You’re always right.” 

“Go to bed, Rin.” He insisted. “Good night.” 

“.... Good night, ‘Samu.” Osamu kept holding onto the phone even when the other line went static. He wondered how much of this Suna would remember the next day. He could only hope that Suna wouldn’t act like the night never happened. 

But all the gods above must’ve hated him, his wishes were ignored. Suna totally went MIA on him from that day on. Not a good thing to brag but Osamu would say he was totally used to being ghosted, but it was a different kind of pain when Suna was the one to do so. 

Osamu had two theories. 

(1) Suna didn’t remember the night at all, and only found out he drunk-dialed Osamu from his call logs and now, avoiding him because he didn’t want to find out what he did. 

(2) Suna miraculously remembered everything but regretted what he did so he decided to erase Osamu out of his life. 

Both scenarios were fairly possible, and typical of Suna to do, because flight had always been his forte. But if he had to choose, Osamu really, really wished that it wasn’t the latter. 

* * *

“Pardon?” 

The man in glasses laughed, more amused than anything. He repeated. “As I was saying, would you be interested to open a branch in Nagoya?” Nagoya, Nagoya, the word rang in his head, capital of Aichi prefecture, Suna Rintarou’s home, according to the man in front of him, the location of the shop would be only 10 minutes away from Suna family house. 

“I... I’ve thought about having branches but Nagoya never came across my mind.” That was a lie, he had thought about it for many times. 

“I’ll tell you what, Miya-san. The location is really great too, not to mention Nagoya is just 2 hours away from Amagasaki. I think it’s worth considering.” Needless to say, Osamu had made up his mind ever since he heard about it, but for some measures, he just decided to say. 

“I’ll think about it, and ring you back in a few days. Is that alright?” 

“It’s perfect,” The middle-aged male smiled, “I hope to hear good news. I’ve been your biggest customer for long so this is also me trying to satisfy my craving for a decent onigiri in Nagoya.” 

“Hearing that makes me happy,” Osamu genuinely smiled, “I’ll get back with you as soon as I can.” 

But of course, just the desire to go won’t feed him if he were to go bankrupt so he had to consider some other stuffs too; the management of two shops, about his employees, his finance condition, and if he will get enough earning for the shop to last in Nagoya. With all the things considered, he lastly decided to consult with his parents, especially to know if they would be able to manage on their own without Osamu, because his twin was almost never home with his career. 

“Ma, Pa,” Osamu called, Atsumu, who was back home for holidays also looked up, brows a little raised, “do you remember the guy who had been my regular since I first started the shop? The guy who moved back to Nagoya last year?” 

“Ah, Tanaka-san?” 

“Yeah, him.” Osamu answered, he fiddled with his fingers, nervous for no reason. Atsumu watched him with serious eyes, as expected of his twin, he probably knew where Osamu was going with this conversation. “He contacted me the other day, asked me if I wanted to have a branch in Nagoya.” 

“Oh?” His father raised the brows. 

“Honey, that sounds amazing.” 

“Yeah,” Osamu smiled a little, “so I’ve been looking into it for weeks and I think it would be good for the business too.” Atsumu scoffed at that, Osamu kicked his legs. 

His mother nodded, prompting him to go on. “So, I’m just wondering how you guys think about it. It’s not that far but I wouldn’t be staying here anymore so-” 

“Come on, young man. As if you’re always home even now.” Mama Miya glared, and Osamu gave her a guilty smile. 

“Both you and Atsumu have always been the type to know what you want in life without our influences, and that’s how we raised you too so, I’ll trust you on your judgement in this one.” His father spoke up. 

“I’m with your father too,” Mama Miya reached for his hands, “you always know what to do, Osamu. And even if things don’t go right, I’m sure you’ll be able to pick yourself up again, like you always do but also don’t forget that we’ll be always there for you.” 

Osamu felt like crying at the sentiment, he had always been blessed with his family, and he will always be thankful. Atsumu exceptionally remained quiet, but Osamu knew him enough to tell that the blonde male was trying not to cry either. 

Mama Miya squeezed his hands tight, “I’m just worried about one thing, I really hope you don’t overwork. Can you promise me that, Osamu?” 

“I won’t make you worry, Ma.” Osamu reassured, “But it’s still not set in the stones. I haven’t even decided-” 

“Yer not fooling anyone, ‘Samu.” Atsumu rolled his eyes, his tone was implicating many things. Osamu kind of wanted to whack his brother on his head for outing him in front of the whole family 

Their parents laughed, and Osamu suddenly felt self-conscious so he tried to change subject. “It isn’t really far from here so I do think it’s a good idea-” 

“But you especially want to go there because it’s Rintarou’s hometown, correct?” 

He felt like lightning just struck him, he spluttered, “-what?” Atsumu stifled his laugh beside him, why was this bastard suddenly holding back? 

He immediately looked down to his hands. “I-I mean, how?” 

“Miya Osamu, you’re our kid, and of course we know everything about you.” His mother smiled, “But you are kind of an open book too.” Atsumu bursted out laughing at that. 

“Man, you’re busted.” He looked up to his parents’ face, just to see them smiling warmly at him, with eyes full with nothing but love. 

“Are you guys okay with that?” Osamu asked, “That I might not be able to get married to a girl and have kids like I declared when I was 13.” 

“Oh, honey.” Mama Miya cooed, “We already told both of you that we’re willing to accept you two as you are. I’m a little sad we won’t be getting grandkids now but it doesn’t matter, I love you boys. And I’ll always do, no matter who you boys decide to love.” Osamu couldn’t find better words to describe how grateful he was to be borne in this family. The dinner time suddenly turned sentimental, an unusual atmosphere for the Miya household and like always, Atsumu decided to break the ice. 

“Don’t worry, Ma. It’s 21st century, we’ll find some ways about having kids.” 

“I’ll have your words, Miya Atsumu. You better give me my grandchild.” They all laughed. 

“So, when will you be calling back for your reply?” Papa Miya asked. 

“I’ll just do it tomorrow; it’s getting late now.” 

“What’re you going to do about your current apartment?” 

“The lease will be up in a few months so.” 

Papa Miya gave him a teasing grin. “You’ve got all figured it out. Eager, ain’t cha?” 

Osamu groaned. “Not you too, Pa.” 

“Have you let Rintarou know? About this?” 

“Not yet, I’ll tell him later.” He lied. Atsumu might not know he hadn’t talked to Suna for months. 

“Go on apartment hunt with him,” Mama Miya smiled, “what a romantic idea.” 

“Ma, yer making them sound like a married couple.” Atsumu grimaced. 

“Me and Rin-Rintarou aren’t like that...” He decided to say. 

“Yet.” His mother blinked. 

Insecure, he mumbled. “I don’t even know if he likes me or not.” Atsumu rolled his eyes. 

“Oh, ‘Samu.” Mama Miya sympathized, “Did he tell you that?” Did Rin ever tell him that he had no feelings for him or whatsoever? No, he didn’t think so. All Rin talked about was how they wouldn’t be able to work it out. 

“No,” Osamu shook his head, “not really. But he doesn’t tell me he likes me either.” 

“Because he is a fucking coward.” Atsumu spat. 

“Atsumu, language.” Mama Miya turned back to him, “Have you ever relayed your feelings to him too?” 

Osamu’s eyes slightly widened. “No.” He muttered, “I haven’t because I thought he might not want to hear it.” 

“Your job is to get your feelings across, ‘Samu.” Mama Miya gently coaxed. “What he decides to reply is his part. I don’t think no one would be able to reject my precious boy but even if he does, what about it? It’ll definitely hurt you but time will heal you too. You’ll meet a lot of people in the future. That’s how life is. Rather than cowering away and lives in regrets, wouldn’t it be better to face it head-on and let fate do their work?” 

A calm smile emerged on Osamu’s lips; he had been reflecting a lot about the things he could’ve done in the past, for both him and Suna’s sake, but he couldn’t never come up with a proper solution. All the time he had hammered it into his head that Suna wouldn’t want to hear him profess his love but his mother was right, it really was about time he did something with the bottled-up feelings. He would make sure Suna hear about his feelings and he’ll leave the rest up to him, was he confident that Suna would accept? Not very much. But he’s willing to convince the brunette. They’ll be now back to square one after all, the distance between them wouldn’t be as big as it used to be, Osamu will try everything he could to make the younger understand how much he was willing to risk just for him. If Suna were to reject him? Osamu doubted there wouldn’t be any drastic changes, because Suna wasn't talking to him now. He wouldn’t have awkward encounters because Suna will only be in Kobe for holidays. He really had nothing to lose. 

“Yeah, you’re right.” He smiled wider, “thanks ma.” 

“Don’t stress about it too much,” Mama Miya reached for his forehead, easing the wrinkles away, “you’ll end up with wrinkles at young age.” 

“Yeah, don’t worry. I’m pretty sure Rintarou has the hots for ya.” Atsumu choked on his water, Osamu sputtered. 

“Pa, how did you learn that?” Osamu rubbed his temple. “What's that supposed to mean in the first place?” 

“It means, I think he fancies you too.” Papa Miya announced, without batting an eyelash, “Also, I learnt it from Twitter. Rintarou taught me how to use it the other time he came over. I’m following him too.” 

“God, this is unbelievable.” Osamu palmed his forehead, but grin prominent on his lips. Laughter filled the entire dining room. 

He thought Atsumu was being too quiet the entire dinner, it turned out his brother was worried for him, it was freaky to be honest, for Atsumu out of everyone to get concerned. Don’t get him wrong, Osamu would totally take a bullet for that jerk but they were also never the type to express it out with words. 

“Samu,” Atsumu called from the lower bunk, it was pretty funny to be sleeping at a bunking bed at this age, but it somehow became a norm to sleep in their childhood room whenever they were over at their parents’ house. Osamu just mused in return. 

“How many years has it been? Don’t tell me you’re still not over Suna.” Atsumu knew a fair share of Osamu and Suna’s complicated relationship, yet he never butted in, he never gave advice but he didn’t seem to be satisfied with Suna either. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever get over him, honestly.” Osamu decided to say the truth. He heard Atsumu click his tongue. 

“What’s the catch about that idiot?” Atsumu snapped, “It’s pathetic how yer letting his pretty face lead you on for years.” 

“Rin ain’t leading me on,” Osamu defended. “He told me clearly that we wouldn’t work out.” 

“But he didn’t let you go either.” 

“Only because I keep coming back to him.” 

“Yer far too gone, ‘Samu,” Atsumu sighed, “to still defend him even though he keeps breaking your heart.” 

“He’s also your friend too,” Osamu reminded. 

“I know, I love that jerk but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve a punch in the face for being a goddamn coward.” 

“Don’t, yer gonna ruin his pretty face.” 

“See?” Atsumu raged, “Fucking whipped.” 

“What’re you going to do if he runs away again? Even after you followed him out to Nagoya.” 

“I really hope he doesn’t.” There was only one thing Miya Osamu would like to wish to the gods above, to let this time finally be the right timing for both of them. 

Atsumu sighed again and told him. “Yer a goddamn fool, ‘Samu.” He didn’t even bother arguing back because Atsumu was right, Miya Osamu was a goddamn lovefool for Suna Rintarou. 

* * *

“Hi.” Osamu tried to smile but it probably turned out looking like a grimace from how nervous he was being. Suna blinked, he looked quite taken aback but he wasn’t completely shocked like he had expected Osamu’s appearance at the door of his family house. Osamu had officially moved to Nagoya for weeks, all the preparations for his new branch went well and now they were going over the final steps for the opening. He was busy settling down that the thought of seeking Suna didn’t come to him, not like he could see him when he first arrived too because Suna had been in Shizuoka as he knew the V-league's offseason schedule like the back of his hands, thanks to his brother. It took him a few days to gather his courage, to go all the way over Suna’s house when he had learned from Suna’s Instagram that the brunette was back in his hometown. Now, here he was, standing right before the said male, all fidgety and the monologue he prepared in his head all dissipated into thin air on seeing Suna’s face, how he had missed seeing his eyes. Suna’s gaze looked as calculating as before but Osamu can swear that he saw a tinge of delight in those eyes, he really hoped he wasn’t imagining it. 

“What happened to your hair?” It was the first thing he heard from Suna in months. Osamu had no idea how much he had missed his voice until he heard it. Suna was still staring and Osamu self-consciously reached for his new (almost) buzzcut. 

“Is it weird?” He frowned. “I was trying to pull some “new city new me” shit and had a haircut, but the hairdresser got the wrong idea and chopped it all off.” Suna smiled at him, so fondly, like how he did during their high school days, as if he wasn’t the one who ghosted Osamu suddenly. 

“No,” He breathed out, “you look very good. You-” Osamu stared him in the eyes. 

Suna didn’t yield to his gaze and stared back. “You look like an adult.” 

“Was it a polite way of saying I look old?” 

“You know I never sugarcoat words with you,” Suna chuckled, “I only say what I mean.” 

“No, you don’t.” Osamu reminded him, that they never really shared their true feelings out loud. Suna looked like he wanted to protest but they were interrupted by Suna’s mom who stalked out into the common hallway to check the door. 

“Rintarou, who was it? Oh-” She stopped in his tracks, sending a questioning glance at Suna, then turned back to him to observe carefully, her face lightened up a moment after. “You’re the kid from Amagasaki.” She said, tone a little incredulous. Osamu had seen Suna’s family photos from the brunette for more than he could count, but none of the photos can do justice to Mrs. Suna’s beauty, she could even pass for Rin’s sister, no kidding. Now, he knew whom Suna and his pretty face took after, he looked almost as identical as his mother, especially the eyes. 

“Hi, sorry for coming over without notice.” Osamu bowed, “I’m Miya Osamu, Suna’s friend from high school.” Suna glanced him from the side. 

“Oh right, Osamu!” Mrs. Suna clapped her hands, “Come on in, Osamu-kun. Rintarou, don’t let the guest stand at the door for long.” She glared at him. Osamu wanted to laugh at the way Suna threw his hands up in surrender, it looked like Suna Rintarou did have things he was scared of. You learn something new every day. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you boys from Rintarou,” Mrs. Suna said, setting down some juices from the fridge when they were finally seated in the living room. She took the seat across Osamu. 

“I wasn’t sure which one of you before so,” She smiled apologetically, “which was rather dumb of me, because I’ve seen Atsumu-kun, was it? I saw him in Rintarou’s matches and he had blonde hair.” 

Suna rolled his eyes, resting his legs on the table. “Stop talking about Atsumu,” 

“Rintarou, where are your manners?” Suna just shrugged. 

“You are a chef right, Osamu-kun?” 

Osamu straightened up and answered diligently. “Yes, ma'am.” Suna chuckled at the scene. 

“Chill, ‘Samu. You’re not at an interview.” 

“Rintarou’s right,” Mrs. Suna smiled, “you can relax.” 

“Are you here for a visit?” 

“No, I’ve just moved here, for my new branch.” Osamu said, gauging Suna’s reaction from the corners of his eyes. Suna must’ve known though, he was still following him on social medias, there was no way he didn’t see Atsumu’s dramatic post and Suna was even mutuals with his dad, which he horrifyingly found out not so long ago. 

Mrs. Suna’s eyes widened. “That sounds amazing! Already having a branch at this age? Congratulations.” 

“Thank you,” Osamu smiled, “there’ll be a soft opening soon, I’ll send the invitation cards when I have it in my hands.” 

“That’s so sweet of you, Osamu-kun.” Mrs.Suna cooed, “We’ll make sure to drop by.” Suna’s dad came back home from work at the exact moment, and Mrs. Suna ushered her husband to the living room and introduced him to Osamu. 

“Thanks for taking care of Rintarou the entire time,” Mr. Suna shook his hands, “it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” Osamu was getting “boyfriend getting inspected by the family” kind of vibes from this situation. His face flushed at his own thoughts. 

“Right, I’ve always felt indebted to your whole family for putting up with my socially inept son for three years.” Mrs. Suna said, grabbing Suna into a headlock so easily, like her son wasn’t a professional volleyball player who was almost 190cm. Osamu smiled at the way Suna groan out “Mom, stop it.” 

“Rin was so well-behaved the entire time too,” Osamu tried not to dwell on the amused smile Suna’s parents were wearing, “my parents really loved his company. They’re still asking for him to come visit often.” 

“They do?” Suna’s eyes softened. 

“Yeah,” Osamu smiled directly at him, totally forgetting about the bystanders. 

Mrs. Suna had a big grin on her face. “You should go visit Amagasaki with Osamu-kun sometimes. You still go back home often, right?” 

Osamu nodded. “Once a week or two.” 

“Tell me if you have plan to go back, I want to buy some gifts for your parents-” 

“Oh, you don’t really have to do that.” 

“I insist,” Mrs. Suna told him. “the least I can do to express my appreciation.” 

“Thank you, Suna-san.” They swarmed him with lots of questions, his business, how he managed this far at this age, where he was currently living, if he liked Nagoya, and if he could feel the difference between two cities. 

“So, Osamu-kun, a man of your caliber, I’m pretty sure you have all the girls surrounded?” 

“I’m more of a workaholic type, Suna-san.” He sheepishly grinned, not before sending a glance in Suna’s direction, who had been scrolling through his phone the entire conversation but Osamu knew him enough that he was listening. 

She seemed taken aback at the response. “You don’t have a partner? Not even one?” Osamu tried to ignore how she used the word partner, instead of a girlfriend like most of the folks in the community did. Suna did tell him before, about how open his mother was, especially with the way she was raised abroad, and that she was far from old-fashioned. 

“No, Suna-san.” 

She also threw a look in Suna’s direction. “I’m sure good ones will come along. You’re still young, live your life to the fullest!” She patted his shoulders. She looked like she was about to continue for some more but Suna stood up and grabbed Osamu’s wrist, the place of contact tingling with excitement, he hadn’t been this close to Suna for long. 

“Enough pestering him with question,” Suna deadpanned and dragged Osamu to his room. 

Suna’s room was surprisingly Suna, it would be the most appropriate to describe, because the atmosphere, the room structure, the arrangements, everything in this room suited him so well. Suna let Osamu sit on the edge of his bed, whereas he himself flopped on the floor. 

“This is the first time I’ve ever been to your room.” Osamu spoke up, a little astonished. 

“This is the first time you’ve ever been to my house, idiot.” Suna reminded. Osamu didn’t dwell on how Suna stressed on the word idiot, but fondly. 

“Did you ever bring someone here?” Osamu confirmed. Suna deadpanned at him. 

“Did you not hear mom, when she said you were the first ever friend that I brought home?” Ouch, the word friend stinged more than he thought. 

Suna was sharp, he was always sharp, noticing how Osamu kind of flinched at the word friend and he changed the subject. “How’s work so far?” 

“It was tiring, to be honest.” Osamu sighed. “All these moving in and setting up the shop happening simultaneously was hard on me, but it has been better these days.” 

“I hope you’re not overworking yourself again, ‘Samu.” Suna looked at him, it was that look again, the look that was able to stir him up. 

“Rin I-” 

The door slammed open. “Yo, loser. I need your charger. Oh-” Osamu looked at the door to see a girl, presumably a few years younger than them, which he instantly realized might be Suna’s younger sister. He had seen so many pictures of her from Suna’s phone that he had even joked to the brunette that he would’ve recognized her even in the rowdiest crowd. But she looked a lot more different now, must be puberty’s doing, but anyhow, Suna’s family genes were unbelievable. Osamu would’ve believed right away if the whole family worked as models. Suna’s sister was a beauty too, probably had all the boys running after her. On closer look, he can see some similarities with Rin but the younger Suna was kind of elegance type whereas Rin and his mother were fierce kind of beauty. 

The younger Suna deadpanned, apparently it ran in the family too. “Stop barging into my room.” Suna threw her the pillow to which she effortlessly dodged with a snide comment of “and you’re playing volleyball with those skills.” Osamu had to stifle a laugh, Suna seemed to notice his struggle and glared at him. 

The younger Suna blinked at him. “Oh, you’re the guy ‘Taro-nii had been pining over for years.” Suna’s face flushed instantly, and Osamu could literally feel his heart in his throat from how intensely it started to thump. 

“Risako, get out.” Suna threw the charger at her, Osamu would’ve found it adorable that Suna gladly lent his sacred charger to his sister if he wasn’t too preoccupied thinking. Yet despite his state, Osamu didn’t miss the tinge of red on Suna’s ears. 

“You’re panicking, loser.” She commented, clearly unfazed as she picked up the charger. “I’ll leave him in your hands, Osamu-nii san.” With that, she was gone again, like she didn’t leave a flustered mess behind. 

“That idiot-” Suna let out a sigh. 

“She’s adorable,” Osamu told him. 

“She’s a gorilla,” Suna scoffed, without a bite in his voice. Osamu waited in case Suna might want to say something but the brunette didn’t, instead his eyes darted everywhere but at Osamu. 

“So, what was that about, Rin?” Osamu wanted to tease him, but he was stunned at the younger Suna’s previous statement. Rin had been pining over him for years? Suna being attracted to him? He wouldn’t be surprised. But Suna pining him for years? That threw him off. Suna still refused to look at his direction. 

Osamu sighed, and settled down on the floor, right beside Suna. “Rin.” He took the younger’s hand in his, Suna let him but didn’t look up. 

“Do ya really have nothin’ to say?” Osamu rubbed his knuckles. Suna pursed his lips. 

“Okay,” Osamu relinquished. Suna’s stubbornness wasn’t something foreign to him now. “Then, I’ll do the talking. You listen-” 

“Osamu, I-” He placed the index of his free hands on Suna’s lips. 

“Shush, it’s long overdue, Rin.” Osamu insisted. “We both know it, and you most certainly know why I’m here right now.” Suna visibly deflated, resistance leaving his body and he sat still. Osamu took it as a sign for him to speak. He had pictured this scenario for thousand times, always stimulating the dialogue in his head but he had no idea where to start from now that he was actually doing it. 

“When I announced about coming here to Nagoya, ‘Tsumu asked me what’s the catch about you that I couldn’t stop thinking about you for years.” Osamu initiated; he wasn’t in the right headspace that he couldn’t even grimace at himself for bringing up his brother. Suna scoffed at the mention of the blonde male. 

“I have no idea what was it about you that kept me rooted,” He chuckled, “it was just 3 years, many will say. But those 3 years never left my mind, no matter who came along in my life.” Suna let out a crushed exhale, Osamu squeezed his hand. 

“Ma told me that I should face it head-on instead of living in regrets,” Suna raised his head at that, Osamu continued. “And I think she’s right, I think I need to properly let you know how I feel about you all these years.” 

Osamu hesitantly raised his hands to cradle his jaw, Suna trembled but he didn’t tear his gaze from Osamu’s face. “Suna Rintarou, I’m so fucking in love with you that it’s driving me insane.” A stray tear rolled down Suna’s cheeks, Osamu’s thumb rubbed the spot gently. 

“Osamu, you can’t be in love with me.” Suna refused to give in, “This is not high school, we’ve grown apart. You don’t know me like you used to anymore, you were probably just in love with the memory of me.” 

“You always hafta choose the most vicious words to push me away, don’t cha?” Osamu chuckled, but he didn’t just come here without knowing how difficult Suna would be, “But Rin, I’m willing to find out about you, I’m willing to know you all again, I’m willing to try. Please give me a chance to. Like I told you back then, I’m not going to be like Takaki, at least not anymore. I’m done being hesitant.” Osamu copied the gesture Suna did 5 years ago, he pressed a soft kiss on Suna’s forehead. 

“I’ve said my piece, Rin. This is me holding out to you, one last time.” Osamu told him as he scuffled to his feet, “It’s up to you to decide if you want to walk this path together with me.” 

Suna looked up to him from his place, his eyes petrified. Not sure if he had the courage to continue looking at Suna’s expression, Osamu decided to walk away. 

“Are you going already?” Suna asked in a small voice. 

“I’ll give you some time to think, Rin.” Against his restraints, Osamu looked back to Suna, whose face was a little relaxed now. Exhaling, Osamu gave him the softest smile he could muster. 

“Don’t run away anymore, Rin.” Osamu whispered, ash brown meeting the glistening gold of Suna. “And let me love you finally.” 

With teary-eyed, Suna nodded profusely. “I-I’ll let you know, Osamu.” 

“I hope it’s the reply I’ve been waiting for all along.” Despite anything, the silence that filled in the room wasn’t stiffy, and Osamu felt the tension in his shoulders disappearing when Suna looked him in the eyes with that look they’ve always shared. Genuine smile took over his face as he stared back at the younger, Osamu felt like he was 16 again. 

* * *

**_Rin_ **

_12:45 AM_

_Can you meet me at xxx the one near the railway track around 3 in the afternoon?_

**_Me_ **

_12:46 AM_

_Sure, Rin._

* * *

Osamu arrived at the destination five minutes after the appointed time, due to some struggling with Google Maps but Suna was nowhere to be seen. As he stood at a secluded place, Osamu took in the surroundings, frown making place on his lips. He wondered if Suna had chosen this place on purpose, because the scenario looked identical to the one in 5 centimeters per second. He bitterly mused if this was Suna’s way of saying he didn’t want to be together with him. His own thoughts made him antsy, he checked his watch, ten past three. He really hoped Suna didn’t stand him up. 

He tapped his feet anxiously, eyes darting everywhere to get a glimpse of the familiar figure. Osamu stopped the motion, small smile made way on his face when his gaze narrowed on the slouching figure a few yards away from him. Suna didn’t seem to notice him however, the latter deep in his thoughts as he padded listlessly. 

The coincidence was uncanny; right before Suna crossed the railway track, the barrier plummeted, indicating an incoming train. Suna stopped in his tracks, finally looked up, eyes finally engaged with Osamu’s peering ones, his lips curled up into a gentle smile, stirring him to shift forward near the barricade on his side. 

Before he could have enough time to stare dazedly at Suna’s beautiful face, the train passed over, obstructing his view. A part of Osamu was scared that he would have to look at Suna’s retreating figure once the train was gone, that Suna changed his mind at the last minute and walked away from him to finally move on, and that Osamu would be left with no choice but to finally get over Suna too, will he smile like Takaki then? But they were no Takaki and Akari, Osamu knew they wouldn’t turn out like that, at least not anymore. Suna seemed to have made up his mind for good too, just one look at his face was enough for Osamu to tell. 

It was a short freight train, it wouldn’t have taken more than a minute, but that was agonizingly the longest thing he had ever waited for. And when the barrier elevated, before Osamu could even move his feet, Suna dashed right towards him, wordlessly, he fisted Osamu’s blazer and finally, pulled him into a deep kiss. Smiling against the ardent way Suna’s lips were moving, Osamu pulled him closer, hands finding his way around Suna’s lithe waist, holding on tight. Suna chased for his lips incessantly, one hand leaving his blazer to find purchase on Osamu’s jaw, nibbled gently on his bottom lips. It took multitude of willpower for him to persuade Suna out of the continuous kisses, chuckled lightly when Suna unconsciously chased for his lips again. Osamu put a finger on his lips, Suna pouted. 

“We’re in public, Rin.” Osamu grinned. 

“But no one’s around,” Suna protested, but didn’t attempt to kiss him again. He pulled Osamu into a hug, tucking his chin on his shoulders, both hands clutched on the back of his blazer tight, and Osamu let him, gently rocked him in his hold as Suna breathed in steadily. 

“Rin,” Osamu called, pressing a soft kiss on Suna’s temple, “did you choose this place on purpose?” 

Suna shook his head, “No.” 

“Yer a bad liar.” 

“Ugh, fine.” Suna groaned, withdrawing from the embrace to look at Osamu, “I thought it might be fitting.” 

Osamu cocked his brows. “And why is that?” 

“Because I may or may not have been overthinking a lot,” Suna slowly said, lowering his gaze, “I’ve done nothing but overthink ever since that we watched that goddamn anime.” 

“Rin,” Osamu almost yelled, “are you bein’ serious right now?” 

“Shut up,” Suna flushed, “it’s incredibly dumb if you think about it now.” 

“God, I’m really dumbstruck right now.” Osamu gave him a flat stare, “Yer an idiot to be comparing your life to an anime.” 

Suna looked affronted. “In my defense, the anime only made me overthink. I had the thoughts from the very beginning.” 

Osamu took his hands, looking right into Suna’s eyes. His gold orbs looked clear, the emotions he used to bear in the past were nowhere to be found, he seemed determined, like he had finally made up his mind. Osamu really hoped that decision aligned with his own wish. 

“What’re we going to be, Rin?” Osamu no longer wanted to know about what they used to be, he only wanted to know what they would be starting from now on. 

“You delivered everything you needed to say yesterday, now let me do it in return.” Suna entwined his fingers with Osamu’s. 

“Just so you know, I’m still terrified of doing this whole thing...” He trailed off. 

He gave the younger an encouraging squeeze, that he was here to listen no matter how long it took for Suna to convey his thoughts. 

“I’ve learned one thing the past 5 years; I’d hate to not have you in my life but I’d hate it more if I have to come to your wedding but only as your friend from high school.” 

“I thought I could move on, you know? I thought you would be able to do it too. There was no reason for us to see each other after all. Instead of being in a relationship and drift apart in the end, I had thought it would be better to come across each other once in a few years, greet normally as friends and reminisce on that beautiful bond we shared during high school without any lingering feelings for each other. We would both move on with someone compatible, someone in the vicinity and would be able to spare us all the time. That’d have been the ideal ending.” It was a good way to end he’ll admit, but it was unimaginable at this point of his life. 

“But no matter how much I convinced myself, no matter how many people I went out with, you were always there in my head without having to see you. Even the goddamn 5 hours of distance couldn’t make me get over you. Your shitty snap of the sky on Instagram, a blurry picture of you from Atsumu’s twitter, just one look and I was ready to fall again.” Suna heaved out, voice a little breathless from rumbling. 

“The first year after I left Hyogo was exceptionally hard, it took all of my willpower to stop myself from calling you at ungodly hours, all lonely and vulnerable at the new city. But I remember that I was the one who broke your heart, I had no right to call you when you were going through a process of healing.” 

“You know I would’ve come right away if you just called.” 

Suna let out a chuckle, rubbing the corner of his eyes with the one that wasn’t holding Osamu’s hands. “I know you would. That’s why I told you the other time, that you, Miya Osamu, is too good to be true.” 

He was referring to the drunk-dial. “You remembered...” 

“Yeah, I did.” Suna looked him apologetically. “I’m sorry, Osamu. You did tell me that I should do it in person.” Osamu just stared at him. 

“I’m also sorry for ghosting you after that phone call,” Suna smiled bitterly, “I freaked out. But of course, that still doesn’t excuse for my actions.” 

“You could’ve at least told me outright that you didn’t want to talk about it you know?” Osamu told him. “I would’ve dropped it right away if it made you uncomfortable. But you decided to ghost me instead, that really broke my heart.” 

“I’m sorry, Osamu. I’m such a mess, I don’t even know how to express what I feel most of the times. I always acted contradictorily to my real feelings- I wanted to hear you say those three words but I gave you the idea that I would leave you once you did. I wanted to stay by your side but I always pushed you away. I said I didn’t want to be your boyfriend but I didn’t want you to be other people’s boyfriend either. Talk about being selfish.” He mockingly laughed. 

“I don’t care how much of a mess you are, Rin.” Osamu moved closer, “I wanted you back then, and I still want you.” 

“Osamu,” Suna whimpered, tears spilling from his gold eyes. “I’m done pretending that I could live like Akari.” 

“Rin, Rin...” Osamu cupped his face gently, and whispered out, “My dearest Rin.” 

“I’ve still got a lot of issues, but if you still want to be with me, I want to give this a try too.” 

Osamu rested his forehead on Suna’s. “I’m not going to change my mind, Rin, not when you’re the only person I’ve ever wanted since high school.” 

“I’ll still be spending most of my time travelling and staying at Shizuoka you know?” 

“Maybe I’ll also run a stall at your matches.” 

“Who’ll look over your new branch then?” 

“I’ll hire more people maybe.” 

Suna giggled, entertained by the suggestion. He leaned back from the contact just to headbutt Osamu. “I can’t believe you even moved here.” 

“I told you, didn’t you?” Osamu smiled. “That if I were Takaki, I would’ve followed all the way.” 

Suna’s lips edged dangerously close to his own. “You sure did.” 

“I don’t want to be asking it in a moment like this but-” Osamu looked at Suna, “do you parents happen to know about us?” 

“Ugh, you could tell?” Suna groaned, “Yes, they did. They kind of caught me in the middle of my breakdown and I told them everything.” 

“Now, I’m nervous to meet them again.” 

Suna chuckled. “Don’t worry, they absolutely adore you. All of them called me an idiot.” 

“You’re just a little slow in realizing stuffs.” 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say that.” Suna shrugged. “I kind of deserved that.” 

“Yeah, you kind of do.” Suna shoved him away playfully. 

“You, Miya Osamu...” Suna thrusted a finger to his chest, Osamu looked at him confused, but Suna gave him a smile, so heavenly that Osamu fell in love with him all over again, “I’m also fucking in love with you.” 

Osamu profusely blinked to keep their tears at bay, “I really thought I would never hear you say it.” Osamu sniffled. 

“I’m sorry it took me this long.” 

Osamu shook his head. “It’s fine, now that you had admitted out loud, it doesn’t matter how long it took for you to say it.” 

“Why do you love me that much?” 

“Definitely the pretty face,” he teased. 

“To make someone pine for 5 straight years, now this pretty face is gold medal worthy.” Osamu let out a content laugh. 

Suna mirrored his action before looking at him determinedly. “Osamu, thank you for waiting all these years, I’m done running away now.” 

“You better, you’ve no idea how long I’ve waited for this moment.” 

“I’m sorry for making you wait.” 

“Stop apologizing.” Osamu chided. Suna just nodded, and watched him with a smile adorning his face. 

“What are we now, Rin?” 

“I’ll be whatever you want me to be.” 

“Will you be my boyfriend then?” 

“Yes, Osamu. I’ll be your boyfriend.” Osamu smiled at the response and surged forward to feel those lips against him again. Suna dangled his arms around his neck. 

“Do you think it’s a right timing for us now?” Osamu asked, breath heaving, lips flushing from all the kissing he did, the younger in a similar state. 

“Who knows? We’ll have to find out.” Suna’s eyes softened as he rested his forehead on Osamu’s, “I’m ready to find out.” 

Suna was right, they’ll never know for sure, but that was not an important thing. No point in worrying about the future when they can just bask in each other’s presence. Besides, Osamu was pretty sure they would be able to figure it out together. 

“Me too, Rin. I’ve never been so ready.” 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And soooooooo, it's done!! I even stopped working on final chapter of my other fic, just to focus on this one. There are still so many parts I'd like to change but I'm gonna leave it as it is. I hope y'all enjoy the read and happy Sunaosa day!!!


End file.
